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Listen to this skit/song with your headphones on. It’s super cool.

As I was packing my bags and trying not to think about the piles of school work waiting on me at the dorm, my mom was sitting on the bed. It was close to midday on Easter Sunday, a holiday our family had already celebrated the day before with a lot of food, candy and leisure. I don’t remember what exactly around what the conversation had been circling when the music playing from my laptop distracted her. “Do you like Jimi Hendrix?”

Yes, I do. I had listened to him a little bit last summer, but it wasn’t until recently Hendrix had become a current obsession. I have many interests and I tend to have phases in which I am very into a person or a thing. A few weeks ago I had just gotten out of my (third) Frank Ocean phase and now, I almost only listened to Hendrix.

I asked my mom if she had listened to him when she’d been my age (I figured since he was closer to her generation) and she rolled her eyes. “I listened to him a little, but gosh, they were always so fuzzy when they played.”

True, but you have to admit that he created some crazy music with that guitar.

Scared

The other evening, we had a speaker during our journalism class and she was involved with PR. At the age of 25, she was already where she wanted to be in her career and she told us how she had become heavily involved with both small and big companies and social media, created a thick portfolio, taken many internships and performed several freelance jobs. The main-point I learned was that in this day and age, and with the large competition within journalism and PR, you need at least one internship on your belt by the time you graduate. And you should start before your junior year.

I’m almost done with my sophomore year. I worked for CM Life for only one semester, because it became too difficult to keep up with school. Can you even imagine the feelings that began building up inside me as that woman was talking about her hard work and success? The word UNEMPLOYMENT was echoing in my head. This week had been absolute shit, too, so it added to my anxiety and I hate to exaggerate, but at that moment, it felt as though every drop of optimism drained out of me.

She and my instructor also talked about the importance of networking, and I can do that. Meet people, build bridges, shake hands, cocktail parties, luncheons, sure~. At that moment, though, that little light of hope couldn’t break through the dark cloud hanging over me head. I kept thinking, “What have I been doing with my life? I sleep too much. I am too easy-going. I watch TV too often. I’m letting time and space slipping out of my hands. What do I doooooo?”

I suppose most people have that moment of complete and utter fear in regards to their careers. It’s scary when trying to predict the future and all you can see is fog. My dad did ask me back in January what I’m planning to do once I’m done with school. I know what I want to do, but I don’t know how. Frankly, I’ve been trying not to think too hard about that uncertainty since then.

Now I’ve mulled over this dilemma and I’ve come up with some solutions. One helpful piece of knowledge is that there are people in my life who’ve encouraged me to go after my passion. The instructor in my first journalism class has told me numerous times that I should practice writing every day. Professor Kulawik in my Spanish course has said that with my language abilities (Swedish, German, English and even Spanish as a working process), I could easily become a translator, work for the government. As a creative writer, though, it will probably bore you, he then added and he went on to tell me that at one point in his life, he chose teaching over the opportunity of a higher-paying job. You need to go after your passion. Or what else do you got? Money? Eh. 

Mr. Jimi Hendrix

Mr. Jimi Hendrix

So why do I bring up my uncertain future and Jimi Hendrix in the same blog post? Well, let me tell you, I’m not sure. I have a Mount Everest of work this weekend and I’m doing my best to prevent the one million little stress-bugs from triggering an explosion of panic. The similar chaos of emotions in his music somehow works as a paradox and calms me down. If you’re looking for a moral amid this ramble, perhaps I should say that no matter how difficult things are at times, you can’t turn your back on your passion. I will write til I die.

And I’ll find a way to live comfortably with this desire and my imagination, filling page after page, remembering that there was a time when Hendrix would sleep on the streets, pushing away rats and cockroaches from the little food he had on him.

One of his classics

Musician Luna Lee played “Voodoo Chile” on a gayageum, which is a traditional Korean zither-like string instrument. It sounds surprisingly amazing.

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