During a discussion about women and their standing in society, you will sometimes hear someone say, “I am not a feminist, but…”
There is no shame in being a feminist. Being a feminist doesn’t mean you hate men. Being a feminist doesn’t mean you’re a lesbian. Being a feminist doesn’t mean that you dress or act like a man. Being a feminist doesn’t mean you’re an unmarried woman (I hate the word “spinster”). A man can be a feminist, too, and if a man is a feminist, it doesn’t mean he is a gay, soft, weak or a doormat. Being a feminist means that you’re taking a stand for equality.
What a wonderful world this would be when there is a balance between the sexes. I don’t expect perfection, because there will always be sexist people and misguided women. If treating women equally in every single country became a de-facto matter, then I would be happy.
Sexuality and Double-Standard
In September last year, I read a Huffington Post column by Nico Lang called “Trampire” when the media was buzzing about the Robert Pattinson-Kristen Stewart break-up. Frankly, I never gave a damn about the relationship, because I don’t know them personally and I despise the entire Twilight universe. However, the reaction to Stewart cheating on Pattinson struck a chord with me. Here’s a part of the column that will introduce you to what I’m mean:
Chris Brown can publicly beat the hell out of his girlfriend but still be played on the radio and win Grammys. However, if you ever cheat on your boyfriend, your life is over and no one will ever want to be associated with you. Almost no one will blame the much-older guy you cheated with, and it might actually make him more famous and help his career. Few will care that he was your boss and in a position of authority or that he may have have taken advantage of your youth and relative inexperience. Everything is your fault, and your life will be threatened over it. If you are a trampire, you will be publicly staked for it, even though cheater Ashton Kutcher recently emerged relatively unscathed by the media. No one asked for him to be fired from Two and a Half Men.
Got my drift, brother?
I’m not asking anyone to give Stewart an award for cheating, but if a man does the same thing, he typically doesn’t receive the same backlash as women get.
A man can whore all around town and having numbers from a hundred different women on his phone makes him “the man,” a “king” and some might even think calling him “pimp” or saying “he’s pimpin'” is cool. When a woman has many lovers, she is a slut. She is sick and dirty. She needs help, a husband and God. We ladies don’t have the same privilege to enjoy sex in the same quantity without being insulted. Personally, I believe it’s wrong for anyone to sleep around and they should be more selective in order to diminish chances of pregnancy and diseases. That’s not the point, though, because that’s a personal preference to how you choose to live. My point is whether you’re pro or con for a (very) active sex life, you should apply that same belief to both sexes.
So when is Chris Brown going to pay his dues for his crimes? When is Rihanna going to regain her sanity and leave him again? (She will; just wait for it.) When are we going to stop praising douchebags, like Charlie Sheen and Ashton Kutcher?
I was happy when I read this article by Thought Catalog talking about The Silver Linings Playbook and here is Nico Lang again, this time giving the character Tiffany the thumbs-up:
She says, “There’s always going to be a part of me that’s sloppy and dirty, but I like that, with all the other parts of myself. Can you say the same about yourself?” In an industry where being the “promiscuous girl” is synonymous with “one who dies first,” this kind of rhetoric is revolutionary.
Borrowed from Though Catalog
Let’s also go back to the word “spinster” before I wrap this up. As said, it is one my least favorite words. There is this dumb expectancy that women have to get married when they’re old enough and apparently, once you hit 30, it’s time to get worried. Despite the fact that there are more women than men in the world and obviously not enough people to pair up. Aside from this practical pickle, it’s not right that men don’t have the same social pressure and an unmarried man is called a “bachelor.” It is not fair.
“Trampire:” Why the Public Slut Shaming of Kristen Stewart Matters for Young Women
7 Reasons You Should Go See ‘Silver Linings’ Playbook’ This Weekend
http://thoughtcatalog.com/2013/7-reasons-you-should-go-see-silver-linings-playbook-this-weekend/ (Quote can be found on number two.)
*This is part one of a feminist trilogy
**This blog entry was written for ‘Writing for Mass Media,’ JRN202, at Central Michigan University.